Hillbilly Farms Equestrian Sniglets

chicago-screwed (shĭ-kă'gō-skro͞od) adj.
The position you are in when an essential piece of tack breaks at the worst possible moment.
Example: My horse was galloping down the trail and I was trying to stop him when my bridle broke and fell off. I was totally chicago-screwed.

fugiturd (fyo͞o'jĭ-tərd) n.
That one piece of manure that won't get onto the manure fork and into the wheelbarrow.
Example: I would have been done cleaning stalls ages ago except I wasted way too much time chasing a fugiturd around. And it still managed to get away.

lametastic (lām-tăs'tĭk) adj.
Extraordinarily talented and chronically unsound.
Synonym: limpcredible
Example: My friend has a lametastic horse—he jumps 5 feet, has two bowed tendons, and recently injured a suspensory.

wishtance (wĭsh'-təns) n.
When approaching a jump, the distance you see that isn't actually there.
Example: I was totally going to win that class until I saw a wishtance to the last oxer.