2003 Archived News

10/30/03 - Hillbilly Farms Auction Item: For the LWSC Silent Auction Hillbillly Farms is offering a chance for people who attend the LWSC banquet to nominate their friends (or themselves) for the prestigious "Best Hillbilly Ride of 2003" award (which includes a celebratory basket).
     What type of ride qualifies as a Hillbilly Ride? Going off course twice in one round; getting eliminated in dressage; forgetting to jump the last jump of a course; getting the worst dressage score at the entire show; falling off, trying to land on your feet, and breaking your ankle;
     Here at Hillbilly Farms we have done all of these things and more, and now we are looking for somebody to join us. The high bidder will receive the following items to present to the individual they think is most deserving of this honor: a beautifully framed certificate honoring the accomplishment; an honorary membership in Hillbilly Farms; an official Hillbilly Farms T-shirt; inclusion in the world famous Hillbilly Farms website; a 6-pack of Corona; Sadl-Tite to keep you in your saddle; a gift certificate to the Country Buffet; all packaged in elegant baling twine wrapping.

10/29/03 - Hillbilly Farms has its first new member. She sent the following email and photos detailing her accomplishments:
     "I would like to join your team! My current instructor, Ann Onemus, suggested I contact you and try to form a team for next years Adult Team Eventing Championships for the West Coast. Ann believes none of her other students can keep up with my eventing mount, Winsome Losesome, and she thought the presence of one or more EMT's on our team could only work to my benefit. I have attached some photos of my horse, Loser, and I doing dressage and cross-country.
     The cross-country photos are from an Ian Stark clinic! Ian said he'd never seen anything like us and he's seen the best! I have also ridden with Blyth Tait, "Why, you're nothing but a passenger." and Mike Plumb who said the best thing I could do to improve was to "get someone else to ride my horse." I think he was trying to get the ride on Loser away from me but my sponsors, Healfast Pharmacy, agreed to throw more Advil samples my way to persuade me to keep the horse. They seem to think Loser is a real goldmine. Even though we haven't won anything they always tell me they are satisfied with the return on their sponsorship -- I wear their name and phone number on my medical arm band.
     I favor the event rider's colorful garb that George Morris talks about. Usually I'm black and blue but sometimes red. I hope those colors work for you. I never make the mistake of wearing my hair loose; a nice long braid down the back makes it much easier for the fence judge to pull one out of the water jump.
     Apart from turnout, I think my biggest assets to the team would be speed: I've never had time penalties in dressage; durability: I always get back on after I've fallen off and endurance: Loser never gets tired or dizzy no matter how long you lunge her."

Hillbilly dressage Did I forget to use my Sadl-Tite?

10/21/03 - Hillbilly Farms has expanded and we are now an international operation. Due to exposure from this website we have received numerous emails from international horse traders (ranging from Argentina to the Netherlands) wanting to do business with us. Unfortunately we have yet to be contacted by the West African contingent who seem to be diddling quite a bit in the horse market lately.

10/13/03 - A Weekend at Woodbrook

Don't you think this hillbilly bit has done got out of hand?
What started out to be a joke, the judges don't understand.
Was it falling off my horse that got me busted by the man?
Maybe this here hillbilly bit has done got out of hand.
(with apologies to Waylon)

Woodbrook Hunt Club Hunter Trials: The weekend started out well enough . . . In the first class, an under saddle class, one of our horses was a raving lunatic but didn't injure anyone and our other horse pinned 3rd against some very nice horses. Then next two classes saw Hillbilly Farms horses putting in mediocre performances and going off course. Hillbilly Farms also failed to ribbon in the Hunt Pairs class where we entered two completely mismatched horses who then demonstrated how to jump the same course at the same time without getting anywhere near each other. The final class of the day was the Mongolian Relay (a relay race where the first horse walks, the second horse trots, and the third horse gallops). Because of the simplistic nature of this class this was Hillbilly Farms best chance of winning a blue ribbon. Our "walking" horse was in his first outing with Hillbilly Farms and apparently he really wanted to fit in with our group. When the race started he refused to cross the start line and backed up instead. When the first team crossed the finish line he had still not crossed the start line and Hillbilly Farms was eliminated from the race without ever starting.
Woodbrook Hunt Club Opening Day Hunt: The disastrous weekend reached a climax during opening day hunt when one of our riders had an involuntary dismount and broke her ankle and had to go to the hospital (but not before getting a piece of pie at the clubhouse). Does this mean she owes us lunch at the Country Buffet? Or does she owe a box of wine?

9/28/03 - Lake Oswego Hunt Horse Trials Results:  Another successful weekend where Hillbilly Farms brought home one participation ribbon. In dressage one of our horses improved upon past performances, having the second most points after dressage, instead of the most, and scoring a personal high. All of that hard work is paying off! Our other horse (who earlier in the trip had been called Pigpen by a bar patron) headed into the dressage ring filthy, despite a 4 a.m. bath. In stadium and cross-country Hillbilly Farms horses were almost all clear except for one of the horses was a big sissy and stopped at the first fence on cross-country (a tiny log). This show marks the end of our show season, except for the occasional winter schooling show. Fortunately next weekend is the start of hunting season...

9/15/03 - This weekend, two of our intrepid glory hounds were at it again. One horse was exorcising his dressage demons at the Lake Washington Saddle Club dressage show. At the completion of his positively quotidian test a loud roar of silence could be heard for miles around. Then a spectator was heard saying "What color is that horse?" Meanwhile, across town our other horse was performing in the jumper ring at Octoberfest. Her performance had the crowd gasping in awe. When she spontaneously completed her round, spectators could be heard commenting "That was spectacular", "I've never seen anything like it." The rider, dizzy with excitement, was still conscious enough to flirt with the EMT.

9/1/03 - Some of us here at Hillbilly Farms are studying for the GRE so forgive us if we seem slightly pedantic at times.

8/25/03 - Narrows Pony Club Lazy Days of Summer One-day Event Results:  Despite arriving 18 hours early, one Hillbilly Farms horse was still late for his dressage ride. The other Hillbilly Farms horse added another 'E' to his win column, rounding out his impressive string of accomplishments. And Hillbilly Farms saved that day when the scheduled EMT was late by supplying two EMTs for the show (when you ride like we do...). There was a harrowing moment when one of the EMTs, who was warming up for cross-country, almost ran the other EMT over.

8/10/03 - Evergreen Classic Results: On Saturday Hillbilly Farms took home a 5th place ribbon and a FREE copy of Awake Magazine. On Sunday, in muddy conditions, a remarkably calm That Saucy Minx had a heartbreaking rail at the final fence to finish second in the Pre-Adult Jumper Classic. Afterwards, the grooms were treated to lunch at the Country Buffet. Was this to say thank you for grooming, or was it a prepayment for an impending fall at Camas Meadows? Check out the photos.

8/2/03 - LWSC Hunter Fun Show Results: Hillbilly Farms horses made a clean sweep of the 3' Senior division, taking 1st, 2nd, and 3rd in all 3 classes and walking away with champion and reserve champion. Great Job! Unfortunately our horse in the 2' Senior division did not fare as well. If it had been a horse race instead of a hunter round he would have been champion, but alas he had to settle for last place (and reserve champion).

We are the Champions! We are the Champions! No time for losers 'cause we are the champions of the world.

8/1/03 - Evergreen Classic Hillbilly Farms will be taking a trip to the Evergreen Classic to watch That Saucy Minx compete in the prestigious Pre-Adult Jumper Classic. GOOD LUCK!

7/28/03 - CVPC Horse Trials Results:  Hillbilly Farms riders really lived up to our stellar reputation.
Dressage: Congratulations to one Hillbilly Farms horse who had the most points after dressage for the second year in a row. Great job! We are considering sponsoring a perpetual dressage award in her honor. Stay tuned for details.
Cross Country: Everyone had great cross country runs. Even the horses that were doing it for the first time had it figured out by the end. Maybe we finally found something that Hillbilly Farms horses are good at.
Stadium: No one from Hillbilly Farms had clean stadium rounds. One rider came close, but drank one too many Coronas before the round and forgot to jump the last jump. Better luck next time.
Other Stuff: After Saturday night's dinner fiasco Spiffy's has been dropped as a Hillbilly Farms sponsor.

The Hillbilly Farms crew with someone else's fancy rig

7/21/03 - New Indoor Arena! Hillbilly Farms is building an indoor arena. The arena is going to be an Olympic-sized dressage arena with full length mirrors on the ceiling and state of the art footing. We will be scheduling a work party to gather up the old tires from around the property to shred for the footing.

7/5/03 - CVPC Horse Trials Look for Hillbilly Farms on July 26th at the Chehalis Valley Pony Club Horse Trials at Caber Farms in Onalaska, WA. This is the coming out party for Hillbilly Farms and the rider who fell off at the Area VII Adult Riders Camp will be buying everyone dinner at Spiffy's. And riders, don't forget to memorize your dressage tests BEFORE the competition.