Hillbilly Farms Satellite Barns

Bonsall, CA - After peeing my pants at all the incredible photos on your site, we at Rising Phoenix would like to request participation in your fine organization. Here are some hightlights of our very special barn:
We are an adults only barn, which means, as a trainer, I offer tranquilizers to all riders showing.
We offer counseling to those who still think they can jump a 4’ course, even after they stopped riding 20 years ago.
We buy saddle tight by the case.
Our horses are well versed in “not today lady”.
All of our horses are OTTBs and do wonders for the local undersaddle classes by adding “brilliance” to each class (see photo).

Santa Cruz, CA - Came across your site, and boy, glad to know there are more Hillbillies in this world besides our outfit here in Santa Cruz, California. We are officially county-recognized as being the "Green Machine". We only take on the most untrained, poorly-prepped horses to ride in the most challenging, overfacing situations. That way we can truly gauge just how accomplished we are. Our rigorous schedule of riding 5 - 6 times per month assures us all the success we deserve...

Anytown, USA - I would like to join your team! My current instructor, Ann Onemus, suggested I contact you and try to form a team for next years Adult Team Eventing Championships for the West Coast. Ann believes none of her other students can keep up with my eventing mount, Winsome Losesome, and she thought the presence of one or more EMT's on our team could only work to my benefit. I have attached some photos of my horse, Loser, and I doing dressage and cross-country.

The cross-country photos are from an Ian Stark clinic! Ian said he'd never seen anything like us and he's seen the best! I have also ridden with Blyth Tait, "Why, you're nothing but a passenger." and Mike Plumb who said the best thing I could do to improve was to "get someone else to ride my horse." I think he was trying to get the ride on Loser away from me but my sponsors, Healfast Pharmacy, agreed to throw more Advil samples my way to persuade me to keep the horse. They seem to think Loser is a real goldmine. Even though we haven't won anything they always tell me they are satisfied with the return on their sponsorship -- I wear their name and phone number on my medical arm band.

I favor the event rider's colorful garb that George Morris talks about. Usually I'm black and blue but sometimes red. I hope those colors work for you. I never make the mistake of wearing my hair loose; a nice long braid down the back makes it much easier for the fence judge to pull one out of the water jump.

Apart from turnout, I think my biggest assets to the team would be speed: I've never had time penalties in dressage; durability: I always get back on after I've fallen off and endurance: Loser never gets tired or dizzy no matter how long you lunge her.